Last night, I was at the regular preaching session. Sri Hari Kirtan prabhu was the speaker. As always his preachings are filled with good sense of humor. The day’s theme was Sri Radharani’s Importance. Sri H.K. prabhu spoke of her birth, importance and her life.
I have never learnt about Sri Radharani earlier. And, this session was really an amazing one in depicting her qualities and elucidating Bhakti from her perspective. She was regarded as krishna’s finest friend among all the gopis. She was indeed krishna’s other part.
Sri H.k. prabhu also spoke of the holy Raasa Lila. His description of krishna’s raasa dance was beautiful. I could feel all that happening right infront of me. Prabhu was always an expert in explaining the leelas. I could really understand the meaning of krishna leela through the raasa dance.
Sometimes, I feel jealous of the gopis who could see, play and live with krishna. There are no words to describe the ecstasy while with the lord. I could feel that, atleast a bit of it now. When I was listening to his speech, i was totally immersed in it. I have observed, for the first time, I felt truly that I should quit this materialistic life and surrender to his lotus feet.
I’m always afraid of this material life. How to lead it without commiting any sin? How to lead it by chanting his holy name with ecstasy ?
I know I’m not a pure devotee. If I was, I would definitely feel the ecstasy while chanting the name. But I dont feel that often. However, I’m able to feel that sometimes all due to his grace.
During my childhood, I worshipped god. But i never really meant it. But now, I know what it means to worship with Bhakti. I can understand it now. I can see the progress.
Whenever I worship him with devotion or perform sandhyavandanam or chant vishnu sahasranamam or chat Hare Krishna mantra , I stay happy for the day atleast mentally. I will be comforted for sure. It’s a proven experience for me.
I have understood one thing while attending these sessions. God is Many and yet each one is himself. It is “Achintya”. He is achintya, his forms are achintya, his actions are achintya. He is the true master of a being and one should recognize that.
I feel awful at times when I disobey his rules. This is material world and it is full of traps. It is difficult yet possible to get out of this jungle safely. It is possible only under his guidance. When one surrenders unto the Lotus feet of Lord krishna, the traps turn into flowers.
As Lord bramha said, GOVINDAM AADI PURUSHAM TAM AHAM BHAJAAMI, when one worships the lord with all devotion, he is definitely rescued from the claws of this world.
An interesting aspect of this world, we are facing several problems which are created by the lord himself. We are also rescued from them by him. We just don’t know that. I wish I could stay enlightened always about him. But I’m also under the influence of maaya. And since I’m not yet a pure devotee, I’m affected by it’s actions.
Most of us know this, but we aren’t ready to quit acting. Only when we quit acting, we will be renounced completely. We will be only eligible to reach the lotus feet.
Enough of philosophy !! I forgot the most important aspect from the session. Prabhu said that Sri Radharaani’s name was not mentioned in any of the chapters of Srimadbhaagavatham. I got a doubt on hearing this. I asked prabhu, how come people know her name then? Prabhu answered, “It’s Obvious”.
I was actually expecting some justification for the answer. When I heard this answer, you know what i really felt ? Completely Satisfied. I didn’t have any doubt after that. I was totally happy with the answer. I know, that answer is not what I wanted. But the answer really quenched my thirst. It is the power of his pastimes. They dont require reasoning, they just fill in those voids with love for bhagavan, which are more than expected.
Some answers are really beautiful and I got one yesterday. This was the most unexpected yet most fulfilling answer I’ve ever received. People say bhakti is mystical, mythological,etc. I’d say bhakti is mellowy, melodious, miraculous connection with the lord. And hence it is also a Yoga.
At one point during the session, I couldn’t control my inner ecstasy when prabhu was describing the raasa leela. It was so amazing and is beyond our assumptions. I should say, 19 Sept’10 was the most ecstatic day of my life. I have experienced a small taste of the mellow in devotion.
I should say this. For a moment there, I felt materialistic and I was dragging me away from that ecstasy into the material world. I dont know why! Normally, when I get too materialistic, I chant “Hare krishna” to come out of that. But this was pretty weird. When I was experiencing the delight of the raasa lila, I felt myself turning away from that by instantly remembering the materialistic matters. Normally I never did that and never even wanted to do that. But it happened. I know, that was maaya dragging me away. I realized that I dont have enough strength to sustain it and the only way to sustain it is by surrendering completely. Yes totally.
The gist is, I’m satisfied. I felt the mellow. I know how to get it more. And I also know that it is difficult for me, but easy when I do it with bhakti.
God does this all just to make sure that we travel in the path of progress towards him. And when we know this little secret, we can travel faster towards him. But when we step out of the path even after knowing it, it’s a huge risk that we are doing it. And there’s a 100% chance always that we forget our destination. So, we should always stay put in the path.
Hare krishna !!
And my favorite list of his names :
Achyuta, Anantha, Govinda, Kesava, Naarayana, Maadhava, Govinda, Vishnu, Madhusoodana, Trivikrama, Vaamana, Sreedhara, Hrisheekesa, Padmanaabha, Daamodara, Sankarshana, Vaasudeva, Pradyumna, Aniruddha, Purushottama, Adhokshaja, Naarasimha, Achyutha, Janaardhana, Upendra, Sri Hari, Krishna.
Krishnam vande Jagatgurum !!
Raksha maam Janaardhana !!